Vanishing Mother’s Love?

When we think of a mother’s love, the first thing that comes to our mind is UNCONDITIONAL. It is indeed so. We all know that fact. But, today I am going to talk about how a mother could also feel trapped in motherhood. Is it inhuman to say so? Does that mean that she doesn’t love her children anymore? Would you know the answer after listening to the following real life story of a mother (a very close friend of mine)?

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Hi, I am Sia and I am a mother of 2 children. I was working with one of the best organizations in the world and was doing very well with my role. I took a break from work to deliver my first child and couldn’t go back and join work because there was no one to take care of the baby and I was not comfortable to leave my child with any stranger. Hence, I stayed back home and decided to take care of the baby.

After a few years, I had another child. I was no doubt a loving mother and completely enjoyed being with both my children and taking care of them. I never missed going to work and did the best for my children. I did everything for them without any help. My husband being busy with his work, could not participate much.

As my children grew, I gradually started to feel bored of doing the same thing for a long time. My elder one is 10 and younger one is almost 7 now. I have reached a stage where I feel trapped in the motherhood now. I can’t go back to work as I have taken a long break of 12 years and it has almost killed my confidence to go back to the corporate environment. Also, due to family issues, I am required to stay home.

Sometimes, I feel that I don’t enjoy my children as much as I did earlier. I am still doing everything for them because I love them and I feel responsible to raise them the best possible way, but somehow the mother in me is not that passionate. I don’t enjoy doing a lot of things with my children the same way as I used to. I sometimes do them because I have to as a part of my duty.

Am I a mother with vanishing love? It hurts me to feel a lesser mother because I know that I love my children.

I am hoping that this is just a phase of my life and I shall get back on track soon.

Sigh!

(Shared my story with mySestina. She is a close friend and suggested me to publish this on her blog, so here I am).

image source

Ten year old writes – (My Shadow My Companion) by Radha

it stays with me all the time

I can see it sometimes,

it sometimes fades

sometimes beside me,

sometimes in front of me,

sometimes it’s at my back

looks like me,

moves like me,

it’s like me looking in the mirror

the only difference is that,

its black and of no other color

it’s like my friend,

it’s like my assistant,

it’s my shadow,

my shadow-my companion

****

image source

Ten Year old writes – Walking in the Woods (by Radha)

Walking in the woods once

Happy I was

Suddenly saw something

Not knowing what it was

It was a weird shaped thing

Painted with a variety of colors

I was far from it

But, I got a shock when I went just a bit nearer

Such a big thing,

Perhaps bigger than a house

I was feeling enormously scared

Fear ran through my nerves

Still having faith

I went a little closer

My heart pumped as fast as a bullet train

And there I was, just beside it

 Looking at it’s features

I started to wonder

What it could be

suddenly, the clouds started to thunder

Feeling scared

I decided to run

Going back all the way

Where I came from

I started to run back

Without looking behind

Running as fast as I could

With little feet of mine

Very far from it

I decided to look back once

But looking back

I saw there were only trees and nothing more

Reaching home

Oh it was a relief

What could that thing be

It is yet a mystery

By Radha 

Color of his blood

his blood not red, all the time

it’s green when he’s imagining the farms

it’s blue when he swims freely in the ocean

it’s yellow when he bows to the sun

it’s silver when he silently praises the moon

it’s even black when he is hurt in a war

for he is not a man too common 

he has an elegant way to him

he is way beyond special

he is – an artist

he can change

the color of his blood

*****

image source

Ten Year old writes – My Emotions (by Radha)

Hugs, kisses,

Sweet goodbyes

Well, they make me sentimental

Cries,  screams

Scoldings,

I end up totally mental

Fear makes me feel alone,

I sit at one place,

And don’t go out from home

Happiness makes me jump around

I dance I sing,

I feel like a princess with a crown

Greed makes me want to have it all

I want this and that,

I want everything

Sadness almost kills me

Oh I hate it,

I don’t like it at all

Jealousy,

I want what the other one has,

I’m so jealous,

Oh I also want it, I feel so bad

All my emotions, 

I really can’t control some of them

Well, they are just my own feelings,

How can I help

***

Radha is ten years old. Her innocent emotions reflect in her very first poem. This poem was also published on Psychedelicbay (By Cezane & Michelle).

Grow your blog with mySestina (18th Entry)

Dear friends!

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