When we think of a mother’s love, the first thing that comes to our mind is UNCONDITIONAL. It is indeed so. We all know that fact. But, today I am going to talk about how a mother could also feel trapped in motherhood. Is it inhuman to say so? Does that mean that she doesn’t love her children anymore? Would you know the answer after listening to the following real life story of a mother (a very close friend of mine)?
Hi, I am Sia and I am a mother of 2 children. I was working with one of the best organizations in the world and was doing very well with my role. I took a break from work to deliver my first child and couldn’t go back and join work because there was no one to take care of the baby and I was not comfortable to leave my child with any stranger. Hence, I stayed back home and decided to take care of the baby.
After a few years, I had another child. I was no doubt a loving mother and completely enjoyed being with both my children and taking care of them. I never missed going to work and did the best for my children. I did everything for them without any help. My husband being busy with his work, could not participate much.
As my children grew, I gradually started to feel bored of doing the same thing for a long time. My elder one is 10 and younger one is almost 7 now. I have reached a stage where I feel trapped in the motherhood now. I can’t go back to work as I have taken a long break of 12 years and it has almost killed my confidence to go back to the corporate environment. Also, due to family issues, I am required to stay home.
Sometimes, I feel that I don’t enjoy my children as much as I did earlier. I am still doing everything for them because I love them and I feel responsible to raise them the best possible way, but somehow the mother in me is not that passionate. I don’t enjoy doing a lot of things with my children the same way as I used to. I sometimes do them because I have to as a part of my duty.
Am I a mother with vanishing love? It hurts me to feel a lesser mother because I know that I love my children.
I am hoping that this is just a phase of my life and I shall get back on track soon.
(Shared my story with mySestina. She is a close friend and suggested me to publish this on her blog, so here I am).