did I plan to suffer
no I didn’t
did I make friends with pain
no I didn’t
did I tell my eyes to cry
no I didn’t
did I ask you to be mine
yes, I did
& you said ‘No’
***
#poetry #heartbreak
did I ?
Day: September 17, 2016
Color of my Tears
often, my eyes bleed
I bleed with no open wounds
for the color of my tears
so serene, so selfless
they fail to see my pain
their vision incapable
to see me bleed
Gloomy
the dullness in the morning
birds failed to chirp
why is there no breeze
could someone palpate this anxiety
the puffiness under her eyes
narrates the story of the previous night
how the darkness
secretly crawled into the sunlight
making it gloomy
Your Sweetness – Unpredictable
your sweetness
keeps me thinking
keeps me worried
I just feel
I may loose my mind
for I don’t know when
would you start
to taste sour
maybe bitter…
Your sweetness…
leaving me
hungry for more
#poetry #unpredictable
The Ice & the Fire
the Ice & the Fire together
strong yet helpless – against each other
both confused – unable to decide
whether to cool or to burn the other
both in love
ready to give in
to give up their power
praying to the almighty
to take away
their extremism
****
mySestina now is YourSestina
it’s amazing how you drive me to write
it’s beautiful how you lift me to strive
how you fill me with emotions endless
with your love, your thoughtful comments
the way you perceive my poems, the thoughts behind them
makes me inspire to bring more to you
every hour, every minute
how I think to bring a smile to your face
imagining you reading me, gives me a special place
I wonder would I be here without you all
could I have ever done it, without touching your hearts
this story, this journey through the world of blogging
how I feel so related, how you make me feel special
my dearest followers, my dedicated readers
today, let me reveal a secret
mySestina not just mine anymore
mySestina truly now is yourSestina
*******
#poetry #drive #blogging
Deafening sound of the Silence
deafening sound of the silence
on the other side of the phone
only to confirm
the departure of laughter
mugs of coffee with chocolate muffins
hand holdings and long walks
kisses in movie theaters
deafening sound of the silence
announcing loudly of the loneliness to follow
ONLY HIM lying on the bed
her soft body vanishing
escaping his touch
refusing to be caressed
his senses loosing capacity
to hear any kind of music
for he is deafened now
by the deafening sound of the silence
That Darkest Moment
This is about a little girl who lost her father at the age of 7. She had a younger brother and their mom was just 25 when this tragic thing happened. This girl and her brother hadn’t even realized how their world was going to change from then on. The struggle started in their lives.
Mother struggling to earn and take care of the children without any support. She struggled with her emotions as she was so deeply in love with her husband whom she had lost. She couldn’t cry tears of pain so that she would not make her children feel scared or weak.
The girl started to wonder why her mother had stopped putting on any makeup and why does she now always wears dull color clothes. She often ran to her mother with a lipstick and requested her to wear it. And her mother would refuse (back then, in a hindu family, a widow was not allowed to wear bright colors or any kind of makeup).
Then came a day, her mother told her that their father was coming back. That he was gone for a while and now he is returning. The girl knew in her heart, its not her father, its going to be her step father, but looking at the shine on her mother’s face, she kept quite. She was surely happy about something – that her mother would start wearing bright colors and wear a lipstick or a nail paint again.
Life after that was full of struggle. Much more than it was earlier.
Years passed, the girl was now 34. She had her own children now. One day, sitting next to her mom breastfeeding her baby, her mother spoke to share how she felt when she lost her husband.
It was the first time ever she talked about the same.
She said,
“Your father was a very nice man, he helped me with everything. He was working at a high level in an organization, the same company gave me a job after his death on the basis of his seniority. He had 2 heart attacks and the third one took his life. He was hospitalized for about a month and i used to visit him everyday in the morning after sending you and your brother to the school. But that day, that dark day, i just entered the elevator in the hospital and saw a nurse with whom i got familiar with in that past one month. I greeted the nurse good morning and usually she would she would greet me back the same. But that day, she replied back saying, don’t you know?”
“The floor under my feet froze. I wanted to jump out through the half open door of the elevator. Few other people in the elevator stopped me. “
“That moment, that one moment was the most uncertain moment of my life. I could not consume, what had just happened. I had you and your brother aged 7 and 5 and here I just lost my husband.”
The girl heard her mother talking her heart.
The irony of different perspectives brought tears to her eyes, that when her mother was going through the darkest moment of her life, as a child, she was busy thinking about why her mother would not wear any make up anymore!!
image source : google
my Saviour
thick dark blanket as I looked up in the sky
searching for an angel I struggled
many stars shined, refusing to flow their light
smiled and twinkled far, for their own selves
my heart ached in anxiety
I wondered of my state without any light
stars had refused, left me deprived
was this to continue, like it had till now
till this date, for the rest of my life
pain emerged, started to flow through my eyes
with helpless hands, I covered this face of mine
that was when, I sensed a presence divine
the air turned fragrant, the breeze brushed my soul
I wondered to dare to uncover my face & as I did
a calm, serene light shined upon me
dedicated itself, it bathed me to be pure
consuming all my pain, all the darkness
it was you my love, to bring me the light
I worried of no dark thereafter
for you became my Moon
my Saviour
His Sky was never enough for her
her glance
glued to his frame
never failing to loose his sight
in hope, she opened her arms
craved to reach out to him
her soul longed for his embrace
how so much she needed him to care
to look at her softly, just once
with a little affection in his eyes
sigh – he never turned
to face her
didn’t she know
his SKY
was never meant
for her rainbow to glow
his SKY
was never meant for her
his sky was never enough for her
The way You belong to Me
it’s exceptional
the way
you belong to me
your touch
I sense
your fragrance
I imbibe
your dreams
I perceive
your tears
I cry
your pleasure
pleasures me
could I ever be
without you
or you, without me
yes, it is exceptional
the way
you belong to me
***
Sweetness to the Salt
warmth of the gold rays kissed the snow
woke up from its sleep, the snow witnessed the glow
with a smile gentle, it started to melt
ready for a journey of thousands of miles
falling from the height it turned into a waterfall
fresh so white so flawless
caressed the earth, so it became a river
rushing, splashing, making love to the ground
making its own path to travel
spreading prosperity to the villages on its way
leading with courage, crossing the hurdles
celebrating life, giving life to many
not knowing how to stop
never wanting to rest even a bit
speeding to reach her beloved so waiting
knowing, of loosing her sweetness to the salt
the river so eager
to be dissolved in the ocean
***
#poetry #river #love
my Secret of my Share
my share of the sky
with more of heat, than the rainbow
my share of the rain
with more of shivers, than those dances
my share of the wind
with more of storms, than the cool breeze
my share of the clouds
with more of dullness, than its pretty colors
my share of the taste of life
with more of sour, than the sweet
my share of emotions
with more of tears, than those heartfelt giggles
and my share of YOU my dear
with more of emptiness, than a little of your love
my Secret of my Share ??
I chose to live, the little I had
than to cry for the more, that wasn’t mine
#poetry #inspiration
Let’s be Humans again
aspire to grow soft wings to fly
must we keep our feet on the ground
wish to earn those coins of gold
must we not let the greed flow along
earn the power to be that warior
must we remain with a heart still gentle
if ever we feel the need to shed tears
must we not make a sound about the same
a father mus’nt forget, he’s a son as well
let us all give it a try
to build a world so beautiful
where the power supreme is humanity
let us all be humans again
let’s go back to our originality
*****
#poetry #humanity
Feasting on Pain
holding heavy guns of terror
masked faces, spreading terror
children, women, elderly
no one is spared
laughing like demons
feasting on the pain of the innocent
taking pleasure in shedding blood red
those terrorists
they seem to have forgotten
the meaning of their own existence
****
image source : google
I wanna LIVE my Life
wind chyme, dear wind chyme
would you play some music
I really wanna dance
rainbow dear rainbow
would you spill your colors
to make me glow
waterfall, dear waterfall
would you fall on my soul
cleanse me, make me pure
butterfly, sweet butterfly
would you come touch me
like I am your flower
peacock, pretty peacock
would you open your wings
I wanna bathe in the rain
chocolate, yummy chocolate
would you melt in my mouth
give your sweetness to me
river, flowing river
would you make me flow with you
I wanna dive into the ocean
lastly
sorrow, Mr. Sorrow
all my above requests have been accepted
so would you leave me alone
today, I wanna live my life
#inspiration #poetry
You make me ….. ME
you make me think
you make me smile
you make me breathe
you make me cry
you make me run
you make me stop
you make me happy
you make me sad
you make me jump
you make me freeze
you make me dream
you make me sleep
you make me rise
you make me fall
you make me grow
you make me tall
you make me hide
you make me reveal
you make me, you break me
you make me hollow
you make me complete
would I be me without you ever
you make me… ME
*****
Shining glass of Time
I reached out to touch with my fingertips
the shining Glass of Time
it melted softly upon my touch
revealing, what laid on the other side
I saw a little Me, giggling
playing with bubbles & butterflies
running with kids after the flying kite
catching thousands of dragon flies
drops of rain bathing me pure
rainbow in the sky, glowing to bless
trees offering their branches to my swing
the wind blew softly to make me sing
my little self treasured the treasure that’s real
no coins no dollars I needed to buy
my happiness, I held it in my own hands
as a child, I had the vision to understand
the beauty lied in my own self
I knew how to smile, how to remain happy
weren’t those days simply beautiful
weren’t they
my real life
Yes, I killed it.. Confessions?
I took my time
many years to believe
to gather much courage
to kill that something
that something which pulled ME from ME
that something that laughed at a helpless me
that something that called me a coward
that something that never let me rise
it was bloody all over
today, as I picked a sword
I cut it in two halves
yes, I killed my FEAR
need I make CONFESSIONS?
if only my Love… if only
If only you had caressed my face softly
if only you had held my hand
if only you had kissed me gently
things would have been different today
if only you had a small corner for me
in your heart, if only you had allowed me to stay
if only you could see my invisible tears
things would have been different today
if only you hadn’t abandoned me in pain
if only you could hear my silent screams
if only you had offered me yourself
things would have been different today
if only you had understood my song
I wouldn’t be writing these words of pain
I would be singing my poems of joy
in your arms I would have been enjoying
if only my love.. if only
****
The Wrong Train
lost in his thoughts, he couldn’t think much that morning
lost in his thoughts, he caught the wrong train
still lost in his thoughts, he took a vacant seat
lost in his thoughts, he didn’t see people around
lost in his thoughts, he didn’t know where to get down
lost in his thoughts, didn’t hear the baby crying next to him
lost in his thoughts, he didn’t notice something ticking under his seat
in a moment, a severe explosion hit the train
the man suddenly, woke up from his thoughts
but
is now lost
in the ashes of the bomb blast
remember? he caught the wrong train
while being lost in his thoughts
******
layers distancing us
we were distanced
by the closeness between us
we were unhappy
for happiness that didn’t belong to us
we were crying from the inside
presenting fake smiles to the world
we drowned in pain
when we tried to dive into each other
we were filled, bubbled by the hollow
too many layers between us, parting our hearts
still all this while, never were we permitted
the unbearable pressure of the society
forcing our frames, to remain together
to do nothing but to put a fake face
behind which
we were to shed tears countless
embarrassing our happiness
Realize your Worth
praise like a man wise, praise all good – that’s worth
stay innocent, to match the innocence of a child
roam carefree about, like the clouds move in the wind
make your inner self glow, like the glow of the sun
let the fire swallow all the sin, that’s burning your good self
speak like a man so gentle, with a heart that’s kind to all
realize your worth my dear, you are worthy of the best
*****
The Voyage Eternal
two hands, caged in a circle
walking their own pace
one seem smaller, a little heavier
the other seem energetic, a little younger
meeting each other every hour
set on a voyage that’s never to end
a voyage to decide the fate of everything else
a voyage that needs no train, no aeroplane
a voyage to birth voyages many more
it’s the voyage ultimate
the voyage of a clock
the voyage of time
#poetry #voyage #eternal
mySestina 