The meaning of experience in our lives can only be understood when we actually have it, experience it!
As a child, my mother would tell me to be careful about many things and I always thought, why she was always telling me things? Why would she not understand how I felt and what I wanted to do?
As a teenager, I had boyfriends and I was always told to not to get too close to them. I was not allowed to go to late evening parties and I cried like hell when I couldn’t go. I was told to take a certain route back home from college as it was safer and so on.
As a teenager in in love, I had a broken heart and I experienced pain. I thought I could hide it from my family, but my mom and dad knew all about it. They knew everything I felt and tried to make sure that I was happy and safe.
Today, when I have my own children, I know and understand it all. I can now relate to how and why my parents told me not to do certain things. I can now imagine them boosting my morale before a race competition, I can now understand their fear when I stayed out late in the evening, I can now understand that at each step of my life when I thought I was successful to hide something from my parents, they actually knew it all, still chose to stay silent about it for my good.
I realize, that at each stage of our lives, we act being in that stage appropriately. A child would think like a child, a teenager would behave like himself/herself, parents would keep their children’s safety and well being as their priority and so on. And this is how we are able to live each stage the way it should be lived.
Guess, it works this way only – the meaning of experience in our lives can only be understood when we actually have it. Experience it!
When we think of a mother’s love, the first thing that comes to our mind is UNCONDITIONAL. It is indeed so. We all know that fact. But, today I am going to talk about how a mother could also feel trapped in motherhood. Is it inhuman to say so? Does that mean that she doesn’t love her children anymore? Would you know the answer after listening to the following real life story of a mother (a very close friend of mine)?
Hi, I am Sia and I am a mother of 2 children. I was working with one of the best organizations in the world and was doing very well with my role. I took a break from work to deliver my first child and couldn’t go back and join work because there was no one to take care of the baby and I was not comfortable to leave my child with any stranger. Hence, I stayed back home and decided to take care of the baby.
After a few years, I had another child. I was no doubt a loving mother and completely enjoyed being with both my children and taking care of them. I never missed going to work and did the best for my children. I did everything for them without any help. My husband being busy with his work, could not participate much.
As my children grew, I gradually started to feel bored of doing the same thing for a long time. My elder one is 10 and younger one is almost 7 now. I have reached a stage where I feel trapped in the motherhood now. I can’t go back to work as I have taken a long break of 12 years and it has almost killed my confidence to go back to the corporate environment. Also, due to family issues, I am required to stay home.
Sometimes, I feel that I don’t enjoy my children as much as I did earlier. I am still doing everything for them because I love them and I feel responsible to raise them the best possible way, but somehow the mother in me is not that passionate. I don’t enjoy doing a lot of things with my children the same way as I used to. I sometimes do them because I have to as a part of my duty.
Am I a mother with vanishing love? It hurts me to feel a lesser mother because I know that I love my children.
I am hoping that this is just a phase of my life and I shall get back on track soon.
(Shared my story with mySestina. She is a close friend and suggested me to publish this on her blog, so here I am).